That Passion

Love for me has been something like a drug. It can be the best high or the worst trip. You just never know how it’ll end. It always starts the same, you know?! With good intentions, laughs, hugs and kisses. It could start with some drinks lol. Who know?! Somewhere along the line,  the rejection shows up. Rejection is not something that is taken lightly. Unlike Kevin Hart, a lot of us  never truly developed what he refers to as the shoulder shrug mentality. Rejection could be in the form of a lover or associate, family member or friend, job or career, school or trade . Whether it’s the dismissal of what you thought it was, could or would be or denial of love, it all hurts. Sometimes these struggles cause us to be to vocal. For me, I always felt the need to tell whoever exactly how I felt. I was the one speaking up for everybody. My dad literally had to tell me that I didn’t have to be the spokesman for everyone. Most people have tried to cover up feelings with the whole idgaf attitude. The whole avoidance thing is cool for someone I’m never going to see anymore. For example, someone cutting you off on the streets deserves the shoulder shrug. Going off and raising your blood pressure can get you killed or hospitalized from unnecessary  stress. Often times it’s just not that deep. I get my passion from my pops! Sometimes the passion is a good thing sometimes it’s not. Nevertheless it was something I picked up as a child, because feelings were never sugar coated or even delivered in the most nutruing way lol. It was a real in your face, combative delivery. Now don’t get me wrong that’s no excuse for my behavior at times. After all I’m a grown ass woman. I just understand the need to get your point across sometimes. It’s totally ok to agree to disagree at times. It depends on how serious the situation is. Honestly, somethings aren’t up for negation and I won’t play that passive aggressive shit about it either. One thing is for sure though, judgment is never cool. We all have our hang ups or something we regret. Maybe not us all, those perfect people will say they never did anything they wish they hadn’t. Give me a break, there are things we all wish we had done differently. Truth is judgment doesn’t make anybody want to make changes, it only makes them feel like you think something is wrong with them. You may not agree with the situation or choice, but judgment is only focused on the person, not the act. Constructive criticism is completely different. It says you can do better, instead of you’re trash. It should uplift instead of tear down.  People who care about you should call you on your stuff, but also uplift. The fake ones are going to be the one acting like the moves you’re making are cool, when you and them both know deep down you’re tripping.

Your Love Life

Keep in mind though, there is a place and time for everything. So if I’m turned up in the moment, you should approach the situation calm. You don’t put out the flame with more fire, and heavy winds also don’t help. Don’t turn up too, or start behaving aggressive. I don’t think that works well for most people lol. It definitely doesn’t work well for me. For one, the person working from an emotional state won’t always behave rationally. Emotions can have you all over the place, where as using your logic, you’re more calm and into trying to find the solution. I’ve come to realize even painful, upsetting or just outright disrespectful situations can be deescalated with the right steps being taken. Let’s say you go through a break up. To make matters worse you didn’t want to break up. If you solely focus on your emotions, things are bound to end worse. Crying, breaking down, yelling; will be agonizing to your heart and bad on your overall spirits. I’m not saying you may not initially, want to do these things and it’s ok to shed a tear or two here and there. However, life can’t go on like this. It’s a total disruption to your flow. You have to stay focused and react from a rational standpoint. Remember the saying if it’s meant to be it will be. This is true, because you can’t force anything. Even if the person chooses to go along it’ll only be temporary and you won’t be genuinely happy. I suggest doing your best to have an adult conversation, face to face preferably on how you guys arrived to this place. Try not to talk to everybody about it. Too much talking will only cause you to relive the incident. Take some time to yourself to figure things out. NO REBOUNDS!!! I repeat, take some time to yourself!

Money bag

I’ve always been super loving and passionate. If I’m displeased I just can’t help but share that. In fact, if I don’t share how I feel, it’s because I know it won’t make a difference or it can effect me financially. Now don’t take this to mean that for the love of money I’ll take anything, but I will let small stuff slide. I mean I won’t cuss a customer out for coming at me left, because I’ll lose my job. Rule #1, Always secure the money bag. Especially if it’ll be a detrimental blow to your pockets. Sometimes we get too caught up in proving our point. If you can let it go, just let it go. Customer service is important everywhere, even if you’re self employed. When money is on the line, there is no time to be combative. These our the times when you want to excercise patience and understanding. There will be times when you know the person you’re dealing with is being utterly ridiculous. At times what there saying may be absolutely wrong. This is when you will have to do more listening, then talking. Often times people just want to vent and be heard. After they get their pent up frustrations out, they’ll be easier to deal with. I’ve even had people apologize when my response was silence. Don’t interject while the person venting is talking. It makes them feel as though you’re being dismissive. Even if you are, they should never know. “Place your iron fist, in a velvet glove.” Offer your sincerest apology if nothing more than for business sake. Then address their concerns and do as much as possible to make them feel you understand, even if you can’t relate.

Rejection

Ever heard the saying “Rejection is GOD’s blessing”?! I honestly think it’s worth considering. Often times when things don’t pan out exactly how you’d like, you’re blessed with something better. Even if it’s just the opportunity to grow through it. Maybe you didn’t get the promotion, accepted into that school or the relationship didn’t last. It’s quite possible that the relationship wasn’t for you and there is somebody better suited for you. It could be you still have some soul searching to do or you need to find out what truly makes you happy. That relationship, could’ve went awry simply because you weren’t ready to be in it. With the job, you may need to work on your patience. There is no better way to do that, then playing the waiting game. While you wait keep your skills up to par. As for school keep studying, maybe you’re destined for a much better University. Don’t look at rejection as such an awful thing. Of course, it may be disappointing. You had plans and the plans didn’t go quite as you expected. That doesn’t give you an excuse to give up. It does give you a chance to become better though.

I hope this blog is uplifting and encouraging, as I hoped it would be. If not just know I did my best and will continue to work on perfecting my craft. As long as I live to see another day, there is time to become better. Keep striving for improvement! Hold on to your faith and be persistent with your passion. Things will fall into place. Those stars will surely align.

Sincerely,

LuveyLuv